“Housebound” Review by Marcia Parker

with unwanted, snarky commentary by me, Cecil Laird, in the italics!

 

Housebound is a fun-filled haunted house flick surprising packed full of witty writing, zany characters, and unexpected turn of events!

Gee, only SLIGHTLY misleading in your very first sentence.  Great start!

I really enjoyed watching the heroine go from a degenerate, petty thief that cares not what she does, into a dutiful daughter that saves her family from an untimely death.

Okay Thor, Odinson.  “…cares not what she does”?  REALLY?

Housebound was written and directed by the talented Garard Johnstone and released September of 2014. It is a triple threat… Comedy, Horror, and Thriller! A combo that is not easily done successfully but Garard NAILED it! From the heroine to the bit characters, each role was perfectly executed!

Well, PERFECTLY…?  I don’t know.  But entertaining, at least.

Kaylie Bucknell, played by Morgana O’reily, is a troubled young youth who is very bad at being a petty theif. So bad that instead of sending her to a reform facility the judge decides she’d be better off spending eight months on house arrest with her Mum to give her a sense of stability.

HA!  THAT really worked out…

It doesn’t take long for you to discover that Kaylie’s childhood home used to be the “Halfway House of Horrors” who’s previous inhabitants haven’t quite left the building!

Caaaaareful…!  No spoilers here!  Save those for the podcast!

I just absolutely loved how this movie developed. It literally goes from comedic, to terrifying, to thriller, and back to comedic. The transitions between the genres were done so smoothly you don’t realize it’s happening until the moment you do.

You know, I was gonna edit that last sentence, but I think I’m just gonna let it breathe.  Poetry like that musn’t be shuffled under the rug.

For instance, I was laughing at the ridiculousness of the not-so-subtle ghost antics, then seconds later goosebumps started to make me shiver!

You’re a complicated broad, you know that?  DEEP.

It’s definitely something you HAVE to check out! I mean how can you really say no to a movie with a troubled youth, an oblivious mother, and a parole officer who hobbies as a ghost hunter? You just can’t say no.

I mean…SOME people certainly can.  And will.

This is all the way a MUST-WATCH!

Okay, okay.  We get it.  Yeesh.

With that said, this has been another segment of Movie Roulette. So far so good on the movie selections. Can’t wait to see what comes up next! In the meantime keep coming back for podcasts and other horror related news and remember… STAY SCARED!

Yeah, that.

“You’re Next” Review – by Marcia Parker

with Unexpected Review Commentary by me, Cecil Laird, in the bold text!

“You’re Next” was a predictable home invasion film with unpredictable kills.  They waste no time jumping into the sex and violence, and who needs a plot line when you have a badass heroine kicking ass and not caring to take names?

Well, that’s a bit of a simplification, but okay, I’m with you so far, Marcia…

“You’re Next” is a horror/thriller movie directed by Adam Wingard and written by Simon Barret. I was surprised that it’s been available since 2011 and I haven’t heard of it yet.

Yeah, where the hell have YOU been? And what’s it like back there 4 years ago?

Apparently, it has been getting decent reviews across the board, and it DOES have all the right staples to make a great home invasion flick: a hostile family reunion–naturally, located at their conveniently secluded mansion; psycho killers wearing animals masks stalking their prey; and victims who are about as deep as a puddle on a hot Arizona afternoon.

Ha! I actually like that one.

But we don’t watch these films to get a deeper understanding of our humanity, now do we?

Maybe YOU don’t…but I know these movies help ME work shit out…

…that’s not weird, right?

My favorite character was Erin, played by Sharni Vinson. She was the hot new grad student girlfriend of one of the brothers from said “family”. Erin thought she was there to meet the parents, but turns out she was there to kick ass!

Who knew?! Oh yeah, anyone that’s ever watched a horror movie.

When the killing begins you think, “ok, cool kill”, but when Erin starts to fight back, THAT’S when you begin to REALLY be entertained! All the way to the final kill, Erin puts the killers to shame–I even giggled out loud at one point!

SPOILER!!!  Wait, giggled at WHAT, you sicko?

There were some issues that I would like to address, however.

Ohhh boy, here we go. You better sit down if you are reading this, Mr. Wingard. And remember, Marcia’s opinions do not reflect that of The Horror Show as a complete entity.

During the initial attack on the family, the director thought it would be really cool to go hand-held. I’ll tell you what, Mr. Director, ten minutes of shaky cam during a non-found footage film is not cool. It did not make the scene more intense or more believable.

Oh, SNAP!!!

Also I can excuse the lack of plot, but I cannot condone bad writing.

DAAAAAMN!!  Look out, Mr. Barret, it’s YOUR turn in the barrel!

The few lines provided during the “meet the parents” phase of the movie were awful and silly. Less would have been more in my opinion.

Wait, isn’t this whole thing your opinion?

At the same time it felt as though the writing got better as the movie progressed. I’m not quite sure, but maybe it had something to do with the actors being killed off.

Ouch.  Poor filmmakers.  And they all work SO hard to deliver people like YOU a product you can ENJOY, you ungrateful little…!

…

…but I actually kinda agree with you.

I don’t want to spoil TOO much of this movie because I truly feel that the kills alone make the film worth watching.

I WOULD like to remind you that the plot is as predictable as it can get…but honestly, you shouldn’t let that stop you.

Yes, especially if you absolutely HATE that kind of thing! <facepalm>

In the end, this is EXACTLY what you would expect from a home invasion movie.

As you’ve mentioned once or twice before, I think.

Just sit back, grab the popcorn, and get ready for some good ol’ fashion murder and mayhem!

Good work, Marcia! It’s like I was in the room watching the movie with you! Really! No, seriously! Uh huh! Nope, not lying at all!

Stay tuned for more Horror Movie Roulette with Marcia Parker, right here on The Horror Show Blog! And if you enjoyed the commentary and would like to see more blogs like this, let us know in the comments below!